Life has been going fine recently. I had just done my oral assessment with the Australian examiner, one and the very last physics investigation and 3 weeks more, external examination!

Sometime i was wondering, what is the purpose of life?

Should i just be an ordinary accountant (probably i want to be chartered) and just do my job well everyday for the coming 35 years?
Or should i do something meaning? i should take medicine/pharmacy that you can enjoy working while serving the public?
Or i should take something challenging such as actuarial science that may drop me out during my 3 years of the uni course or i can get qualified and be a member of SOA.
Or should i just even follow the crowd (people around me) taking engineering course that leads to a probably normal but stable life compare to business?

Life is all about choices.

There are surely some reasons behind every move we take and the reasons can be a lil unreasonable to you as well as it mean a lot to me.

Maturity

I cant actually believe that i said/typed out : i dont mind what result i will be getting and i will accept it with full of satisfaction because what has been done is done.

i guess i used to be too kia su and i didnt even expect this would come out from me. anyways, its good to see a change of yourself.

Today is officially my last day of chilling day! its time to work out hard tmrw! all the best ppl! :D

8 days more to my mock exam, 74 days more to end my journey in Sunway College.

Life isnt getting easier, as expected.
Dreams are still mystery, which i can hardly figure it out now,
Yes i mean now.

I actually envy my friends a lot, especially one of them, one of my bff, she knows what is her goal and what she wants, so she goes for it, fight for it, without wanting to give up and even complaints.
And i know, its actually cause of the way she was brought up.
I reflect, maybe i am much more luckier, or even unlucky, i was brought up in around way round. I must admit that i have a very good family who always be my back, and support me when i eager for something.
I remember when i was sad that i didnt get to secure a JPA bursary, my dad told me, so what if you didnt get it, i myself can sponsor you to everywhere you want.
And i guess its why i am less motivated compare to my friends.
I can get things that they need to work very very hard to achieve, and what i have to do is just begging my parents (of course hitting the requirement for everything), and i will just get it.

18 years old, and i was wondering, what was my greatest achievement so far, UPSR and PMR full As? SPM 10As? i realize that i actually had nothing i can be proud of myself.

Reflection, reflection and reflection.

Sorry PYS for the past 18 years, for not being an outstanding person, or didnt even try your best in anything, srsly i mean everything. I was a number 1 from 5S2 for the whole year, yeah thats just S2, always getting 1st/2nd runner up in table tennis competition, i was never the number 1 in anything in life.

In finishing my AUSMAT, i will be surely trying my best, at least be the number 1 of hardworking compare to the past 18 years, and soon achieve your dream.

This is a promise.

This is ANU. ANU used to be my dream uni when i was still studying in high school. But when i am almost graduating from AUSMAT, somehow i feel like it is getting further from me. Financially, academically, and i actually think that there are much more ppl who are greater and pro-er than me, which i cant get to fit in this kind of top uni. I am just normal.

I aim high, i used to aim high all the time. The fact that i am really lazy, lack of motivation because sometimes i know that i can get things too easily. so what if i cant get into ANU, Sunway U will do! all this kind of stupid thinking was in my mind, i apologize for all of these, sorry my family sorry my friends and sorry to myself.

Things are getting harder, and i had seen more and different people here. you cant deny that they are better than you, which they are more hardworking, their marks are better and they are actually all rounder. Of course there are good ppl and bad ppl in the world. U know there are always ppl who get near to you because they just want to take advantage of you. there are good ppl who really treat you as friend and treasure you too.

I reflect, am i a good friend to them too? i told one of my so-called bff here all these today, maybe what the ppl see about me isnt the real me, i know exactly what kind of ppl that they want to see. since you want it, then i give it to you. isnt it life? isnt it reality? HAHAHA

Ms maria says what really impress her is actually attitude and good values in us. you cant bring your cert everywhere and tell them 'im an A+ student'. your attitude will decide how long and how far you can go. yea thanks for reminding me too. i will really treat ppl will true heart and love.

i know that actually things arent that bad yet but when you are writing for a blog entry you just feel like going deep into everything, in other word, exaggerating. 

time to sleep! its time for physics and chemistry revision tmrw. 

happy merdeka ppl! :D

Next week : ELD task 3 and oral examination, maths investigation, chemistry lab assessment.
Next next week : Physics test, Chem test and Maths test on the same day.

Less than one month from today: Mock exam.
After Mock exam, external oral examination and final WACE exam.

Life is indeed a struggle, but if you are able to go through all these, then you will be a great person. I dont actually think that exam is the worst thing in life, i mean college life, its the relationship between people make your life worse.

在你不喜欢的人面前微笑不叫双头蛇，那是一种成长。
知道别人在利用你，还不能跟他撕破脸，因为你知道你身处异乡，你总需要someone陪着你。
以前可以很真实，敢爱敢恨，现在不得不处处看别人的脸色，实在有够难看的

今天偶然和一位朋友谈起这些，也发现某些人还很真，还把你当朋友，我直言，现在的我可能不是真实的我，我在伪装，装的失败，还装得辛苦。

还好这世界还没有太坏，我还有他们，从不一样的地方，不一样的背景，我感谢他们。
还好我还有我在故乡交到的朋友，他们有如亲人般的无微不至，我感谢你们。
还好有还有我的梦想，爱慕虚荣，也狂妄自大的梦想，当我什么都没有的时候，可能是现在，我会拼了命，也要让他实现。

2nd post of the year.

It's February now. And I'm still in Miri. Not going anywhere for my further studies. Hmmm haven't.

Chinese New Year comes to the end now. Chap Goh Mei. Met up with my buddy(s) who are 'left in Miri'. Thanks to Grace who keep changing her plan, gamble, WII but finally we went to lim teh last night.

Going lim teh is just like hmmm a way to let us forget about gambling, wii whatsoever. Just sit down and have our cups of drinks. Talking about those memories, okay unforgettable yet beautiful memory. I always appreciate those friends, who you won't tell them I miss you or even not even text them to wish them happy CNY, not saying those secrets or inner thing to them, but yet, they are awesome. At least I feel comfortable with them. We dont need to think what should we talk about, using others gossips as our topic, insult others whatever. Discussing our future, thinking back those thing we did in school, jio-ing each other. Thats enough. Talking with them are like talking with part of your family. Haha okay maybe I just miss them too much?

Okay. Hope to hang out with you all. S2 gang, those who are left in Miri. :P

2011 :D

2011, 17-year-old, 5S2, secretariat and finance dept, duck kingdom, ham's gang.

Although i always claim that i have a good memory, all of a sudden i don't know what should i write now. 2011 isn't meaningless to me. it's the precious time that i think i had learnt lots of lessons, and shaped me to who i am now. :D let's start it :

From the beginning of the year, every single teacher reminds us that we will be sitting for spm very very soon. and fyi, i am not a hardworking student who read books day and night. my teachers are awesome, that they put a lot of effort to motivate us to do our best in every exam, and of course spm. thanks to cikgu azmira, pn bhal. miss hwong byien :D, mr anthony, cikgu nuraliza, pn hoon, mr yong and so on ...

okay. then, it's ch prefect camp

had fun here with lots of friends here.

i still remember that we got number one in kawad competition

leader : chong wen yen :D

next : chinese new year! :D

and hey! this is my gang of buddies! my dearest s2 gang, and so called duck kingdom,

ah lei, denis, jesshi, jie yi, jai, bao bei zi yu, sheryl jia chyi,

ohyeaa! someone is missing :O

chong li kim was waiting us at her place!

and the time back to the our school life.

i miss my table in 4, with jesshi jai and jia lei,

we always discuss about teachers' weird behavior in class,

and the best actress, jia chyi and i just cannot stop to 模仿 them in front of the whole class.

and hell, we got complained.

sorry teachers! but that was too funny! :P

and at the same, i was a prefect in school. my duty class 4S3 is awesome too! :D and i am hell sure they miss me a lot too. every morning, i go to 4s3 and wen yen's duty class is just beside me, so you can imagine that we do our duty for 10 mins only, but talk craps for hmmm, most of the time? hahaha! and i remember sonia will come to ask me : hey pys, 叫你班上的人到垃圾,很臭阿！and bytheway, sonia always join us to talk and forget we still a lot of duties to do.

and after that, we had tons of activites at school. sport days, mss miri, mss sarawak zzz wth, haha! we did slack, and worked hard under the hot sun. parkson is always the place we go to have our lunch, or slacking, goddamnit why there are no nice restaurant around?

and we got our school concert.

beloved mr yong :D

august/september 2011, we stepped down! nahh freedom! :D

opps and i have to say sorry to prefects 2011/2012,

sorry for bullying you all D: wo bu shi gu yi de.

oh hell, sometimes we just like to talk in the hall, we aren't that bad too right? :D

awesome people :D

after that we had our trials. hell torturing, but yet we conquer it :D

i used to do well in chinese, wen xue. boosted up maths and add maths during trials.

and heyyyy i do remember the one who sit beside me, mr ling, who always compete his sej mark with me. and i always lose. D: and when i get lower mark in moral than him, he will definitely laugh at me : 没有道德

and ladies and gentlemen, he is the 1st person who fall asleep during pn bhal's lesson!

i was always so baik hati to wake him up before he get caught! :D

...............................................................

it was SPM!

i will write about this at the day i got my result :D

seriously i think i can do better if i am given a second chance.

it is definitely not my best, :( but at least i tried.

.....................

31/12/2011

and here we go! :D

favourite photo of the year. anson, me, aaron, teck yew, koah kien, sonia, cindy, li kim, sheryl, wan ling, jin ming. wen yen. clare and soo ching! :D

for your information, they are the most awesome people in the world, oh yea there are ah then jia lei jeff erika and ester outside the camera too. had fun with them. and we made a wish that we hope we can still reunion with all of us in 2021? possible? :D

and at night, dinner with duck kingdom at al fresco. they are still the same, so funny, and yet so lovely. jia lei and jesshi love pool till they left us at secret recipe D: and thanks denis who chia jie yi and i raspberry cheesecake. sheryl likim jia chyi and zi yu are still same, talk, shout and laugh like everywhere is their home. :D cute people.

last but not least, all the best to ian, who currently in NS camp :( see you soon!

总在夜深人静时才有心情写些什么，都是多愁善感的错。

SPM结束也有一段日子的, 往者不可谏, 感觉不怎么好, 也不怎么坏, 希望幸运女神眷顾我, 考个不错的成绩吧! 大概全A+就好了 :D

12月12号1.00am, 先祝我的挚友刘宏益先生生日快乐, 年年有今日,岁岁有我们陪你过生日, 7年之内完成医学学位, 凯旋归来. 生日在假期的好处就是每个人都吃饱闲着可以帮你庆祝, 还可以在Boulevard想mission, 寻生日蛋糕之旅.

12月11日7-9pm在food and tea和他们狂欢的一整夜, 和他们在一起, 很舒服很自在, 整间餐厅都是我们的喧哗笑语, 惹得侍应生都在一旁偷笑.

有时写blog只想写一半,不想写到完, 还想保留些什么, 不想被别人完全看穿.

考华文前,把概述练得太好,现在都在概述, 下一篇应该友情篇与梦想篇, 拭目以待吧!

Trial 2 was officially ended yesterday! *Hooray!* ( For that moment only ).

Well, today is an ordinary school day again. 18 Oct, 2 months more to finish 2011, 3 weeks more to graduation day, then SPM. I'll definitely miss my school, my friends, and everything in CH once i step out from this place. However, I look forward to my college and university life more! and friends, after graduation, we are still going to be life-long friends, so don't worry! :)

Got back my Biology, History and Wen Xue papers today :S mood spoiler huh? Erhmm, at least i 'smell' some improvement! :) I still made some stupid mistakes, but i believe that I can do much more better in SPM! :D

Officially 26 days to SPM. Going to start my so-called intensive revisions! and do wish me luck! I'm going to achieve record-breaking results. Wait and see!

Maybe, from todayy, till the day SPM is finished, i won't online anymore?

I went for a scholarship interview yesterday, and the interviewer is from Sunway College. During the interview, i talked about my dream and ambition with her. And she asked me, what if i fail to get the result i expect to get, and can't study dentistry that i so eager to go for now. And i tell her, i will have many options to achieve my dreams.

Having an extra option is never a problem, but the problem is, i always think that even though i am not doing well in this exam, i can't go prestigious college or uni, i can go those so called 'OK OK de UNI'. and get a dental degree from there.

And of course, i didn't tell her that. i just told her i will go for matrix or STPM, and go local u for my dental degree and go for my master overseas.

This sounds nothing wrong right. Things just went super wrong.

Had my Wen Xue exam today, few hours ago, i fucked it again. ):

i wrote in my notebook, the target for wen xue, 100.

but to be honest, i don't really feel that i can get it. not the questions are superb hard, i just didn't prepare well. and this let me think of what i had always done. i do everything just like 'half bottle of water'? the feeling isn't nice, at all. And i know that, with this type of result i got, i can never go for my dream. definitely.

And i know that it's haven't too late. For me to start my engine? perhaps.

And i am now open my blog, let everyone to see my promise. I will definitely reach my goal, achieve my dream, laziness and procrastination, off please.

Best of luck to everyone too!

其实我们没有想象中的要好, 只是都在逢场作戏罢了.

这世界不是谁少了谁就会怎么样,

明天的太阳还是会照常升起.

最重要的是: 今天要比昨天过得更好 :D

it's damn AUGUST tomorrow :( time is flashing. what to do? move faster than the time! :D

i actually do enjoyy the time to compete with time, stay late at night to finish my tons of revisions, but what stopping me is my health problem. uhh i dont want to have headache frequently during day time, and of course, damn panda eyes. nah pimples on my face is also a problem, i dont want to end up like my sweetheart aaron ahaha! his pimples are so terrible :X

it's the time to think about my future, my ideal pathway is Chung Hua > Taylor's > Uni in Sg or UK! Wow dreammm! i knew that studyy law isnt an easy task but i will just try my very bestt! :)

I like many ppl's blog very muchh! especially our seniors! their life are so damn perfect, rich, nice looking, have good results, they have everything that everyone eager to have.

nahh i have many excellent friends around me, you know who you are. :) they will always be my target and motivation to go on. i will study really hard, to be as smart, excellent as you guys. :)

YELLO! :D

*straight to the point*

Uhh. i found that humans are weird. we'll never appreciate what we have, what and how people care of and love us. for example, we used to love and care the people who ignore us always, but ignore the person who love us the most. natural phenomenom?

nah! start from todayy, im not going to sms the person who ignore my msg! what damn relationship between all these? idk, idc.

HAHAHA im not getting tired of being weird, i look forward to the last 130+ secondary school life, with those i love. and for those bastard(S) BYE BYE! :)

i hope i can have a pet dog, i mean puppy :D, or bunny!

HERH im going to record down my result this time. As i didn't achieve what i want to get, i failed, i sucks.

BM :( A-

BI :/ A

M3 :) A+

SJ :/ A

PM :'( A-

Chemistry :) A

Physics :( A

Biology :'(((! B

Add maths :( A-

Chinese :( A

Wen Xue :) A+

从另外一个角度看，十个A一个B，还不错。但是如果要成为医生律师或牙医，这些成绩就跟大便没什么两样。总是比上不足，比下有余。我不要成为衡量优秀和平庸的学生的中间点，因为这并不好受，虽然我知道我是。

容易满足的人不会成功，我认同。

眼睁睁的看着身边的人一个一个的在进步，而我只在原地踏步。醒醒吧！下一次如果不努力就会被别人追过，我是这么相信着。我没有俗称什么保证你拿到好成绩的补习，也没有惊人的意志力，更比人懒惰。但，

下一次，我不会再把自己的脸往地板上踩。

我的朋友做得到的事，我一样做得到！

下一个年代即将来临，而领导者，会是我们。

每个人都有自己的生活,你不能期待谁会永远陪着谁.

当某人忽略你时,不要介意,他们也是人,有自己的生活要过

我不喜欢现在的生活，

不喜欢现在的自己，

但愿有破涌而出的那一天，

不再那么没用那么lifeless.

Uhh! life is so boring after all :( im so lifeless atm!

HEEE! gonna lock my blog soooon! those who are concern you may ask for permission through facebook or whatever and i will still consider! :P

recently i found out many things. i read tons of people's blog. and i realize that they are honest, or brave to write out what they're thinking what're their opinion. and im now here fake up myself writing so 'surface' thing.

Nahhh im going to try to express my everything here too! :) but will set as private hohoho! i dont really like people to stalk about me but me myself just like to do so. Ummm. :P

and and and one more week to school reopen! then it's the time to receive my bloodyy exam paper hmmm im not worrying about that. it's not trial or spm. whatever! hahaha!

*我不想永远都只是这样*

两个礼拜的考试过了,考得怎么样,心里自然清楚明白.到成绩出炉时,有种现象又会发生. 比上不足,比下有余.每次考试时,我总会帮自己分配每一课该用多少时间来读,每一次的计划,99%都不会达到计划的成果.这就跟我的人生一样.

十七岁三个月,每次每天每件事我只能做到好,没能到很好,最好!宿命吗?也只能怪自己懒懒散散的性格,得过且过的态度.因此在那一都不能给别人看到最好的自己.

我的将来也会是这样吗?目标是全科A,会不会在SPM里别人拿到全A+,我也只能拿全A?

貌似王彩华的B咖人生.不,我不甘就此屈服.

山坳上的人生,有人明白吗?

总有一天我会冲破这宿命，成为一人之上，万人之下的那一个！

LIFE is so stressful recentlyy. but beside that everything run smoothly. tsk tsk tsk im going to write ppl i used to hate alot! Grrr, they're so-called offenders in our school. She is a girl, hmmm form 3, i dont know where the hell she get her confidence from to walk so proudly in front the prefects and sometime, purposely offences us. hmmm im not saying about the one my friends and i used to say everytime. but she's one of her friends. yucks you're so fugly you just cant see the truth! well, stop here. dont want to curse her anymore. LALA im going to graduate 6 months more then im free from those eye-sore. HURRAY!

话说在SPM考试中华语科想拿A+比英文难得多,所以呢在blog这里也要好好利用这里来训练华文书写能力.

首先呢,我不管你喜不喜欢我写的东西同不同意我写的东西呢我都不在意.我的blog又不是靠你过日子为什么要从你口中得到你那令人期待令人不屑的天下无与伦比之赞语呢?不针对谁吧我可能说你你还是您,不管啦!

又发现了如果我要用华语写什么东西会变得很罗嗦写出来一点重点都没有,很多句子都喜欢加'呢'~

ALARH~ back to normal. eii actually i want to have college life very much. i envy those who study foundation a level sam at taylor's sunway monash inti of whatever. i just dont want to study freaking 11 subjects now and almost half of the subjects is not related to what i want to be next time. OPPS actually i dont know what i want to be too :S

and i realize that im a super pro stalker :P i used to read every single status in my news feed lol doesn't matter i know you or not(as well as i add you or accept) HAHAHAHA and i used to predict what happen after that. HEHEH it's fun actually and when you know that what you think is right you will feel super proud of it YAYY!

Prince William and Kate married todayy! or i should say now! their wedding ceremony are just like what will only happen in a movie. Well, he is a PRINCE. LOL next time the whole england is his i think?

i just use to update to see my blog link is on the 1st few one in friends' blog list haha! and it's always so crappy as usual. bo bian it's my life and what i do everyday is only sleep and read books. 199 days to SPM and 13 days to sem1 exam!

HOWEVER i promise myself today is my recharge day so i can enjoyyy as much as i can! LALALA! BYEH

ANOTHER tiring day! :( i need 48 hours in a day! nowadays i only can sleep for 5 hour(MAX) per day! D: not included nap on afternoon (should be long sleep!) :P

ehem actually i like this kind of life but i only scare my body cant tank till exam. duh
however,
IF this is the only way to get flying colours in exam, i dont mind!

tons of things can happen in a day. dont expect that ppl will look after you or give an unlimited helping hand. even though you two are what so-called BEST FRIENDS. LOL i dont mean any of my all dear friends here,(and only if you're), just example hehe. :) i dont mean to be offensive and that's only my opinion! and those things dont happen on me thanks God!

LALALA im now tired till can fall asleep in the next seconds but feel simply want to blog. TATA :D

have a nice day! :)

HOLYY! 19 days to sem 1 exam and yet i did nothing revision :(

i hate myself for being so lazyy!

and it's the time for coffee, panda eyes and study late.

i hate this kind of life.