Life has been going fine recently. I had just done my oral assessment with the Australian examiner, one and the very last physics investigation and 3 weeks more, external examination!

Sometime i was wondering, what is the purpose of life?

Should i just be an ordinary accountant (probably i want to be chartered) and just do my job well everyday for the coming 35 years?
Or should i do something meaning? i should take medicine/pharmacy that you can enjoy working while serving the public?
Or i should take something challenging such as actuarial science that may drop me out during my 3 years of the uni course or i can get qualified and be a member of SOA.
Or should i just even follow the crowd (people around me) taking engineering course that leads to a probably normal but stable life compare to business?

Life is all about choices.

There are surely some reasons behind every move we take and the reasons can be a lil unreasonable to you as well as it mean a lot to me.

Maturity

I cant actually believe that i said/typed out : i dont mind what result i will be getting and i will accept it with full of satisfaction because what has been done is done.

i guess i used to be too kia su and i didnt even expect this would come out from me. anyways, its good to see a change of yourself.

Today is officially my last day of chilling day! its time to work out hard tmrw! all the best ppl! :D

8 days more to my mock exam, 74 days more to end my journey in Sunway College.

Life isnt getting easier, as expected.
Dreams are still mystery, which i can hardly figure it out now,
Yes i mean now.

I actually envy my friends a lot, especially one of them, one of my bff, she knows what is her goal and what she wants, so she goes for it, fight for it, without wanting to give up and even complaints.
And i know, its actually cause of the way she was brought up.
I reflect, maybe i am much more luckier, or even unlucky, i was brought up in around way round. I must admit that i have a very good family who always be my back, and support me when i eager for something.
I remember when i was sad that i didnt get to secure a JPA bursary, my dad told me, so what if you didnt get it, i myself can sponsor you to everywhere you want.
And i guess its why i am less motivated compare to my friends.
I can get things that they need to work very very hard to achieve, and what i have to do is just begging my parents (of course hitting the requirement for everything), and i will just get it.

18 years old, and i was wondering, what was my greatest achievement so far, UPSR and PMR full As? SPM 10As? i realize that i actually had nothing i can be proud of myself.

Reflection, reflection and reflection.

Sorry PYS for the past 18 years, for not being an outstanding person, or didnt even try your best in anything, srsly i mean everything. I was a number 1 from 5S2 for the whole year, yeah thats just S2, always getting 1st/2nd runner up in table tennis competition, i was never the number 1 in anything in life.

In finishing my AUSMAT, i will be surely trying my best, at least be the number 1 of hardworking compare to the past 18 years, and soon achieve your dream.

This is a promise.

This is ANU. ANU used to be my dream uni when i was still studying in high school. But when i am almost graduating from AUSMAT, somehow i feel like it is getting further from me. Financially, academically, and i actually think that there are much more ppl who are greater and pro-er than me, which i cant get to fit in this kind of top uni. I am just normal.

I aim high, i used to aim high all the time. The fact that i am really lazy, lack of motivation because sometimes i know that i can get things too easily. so what if i cant get into ANU, Sunway U will do! all this kind of stupid thinking was in my mind, i apologize for all of these, sorry my family sorry my friends and sorry to myself.

Things are getting harder, and i had seen more and different people here. you cant deny that they are better than you, which they are more hardworking, their marks are better and they are actually all rounder. Of course there are good ppl and bad ppl in the world. U know there are always ppl who get near to you because they just want to take advantage of you. there are good ppl who really treat you as friend and treasure you too.

I reflect, am i a good friend to them too? i told one of my so-called bff here all these today, maybe what the ppl see about me isnt the real me, i know exactly what kind of ppl that they want to see. since you want it, then i give it to you. isnt it life? isnt it reality? HAHAHA

Ms maria says what really impress her is actually attitude and good values in us. you cant bring your cert everywhere and tell them 'im an A+ student'. your attitude will decide how long and how far you can go. yea thanks for reminding me too. i will really treat ppl will true heart and love.

i know that actually things arent that bad yet but when you are writing for a blog entry you just feel like going deep into everything, in other word, exaggerating. 

time to sleep! its time for physics and chemistry revision tmrw. 

happy merdeka ppl! :D

Next week : ELD task 3 and oral examination, maths investigation, chemistry lab assessment.
Next next week : Physics test, Chem test and Maths test on the same day.

Less than one month from today: Mock exam.
After Mock exam, external oral examination and final WACE exam.

Life is indeed a struggle, but if you are able to go through all these, then you will be a great person. I dont actually think that exam is the worst thing in life, i mean college life, its the relationship between people make your life worse.

在你不喜欢的人面前微笑不叫双头蛇，那是一种成长。
知道别人在利用你，还不能跟他撕破脸，因为你知道你身处异乡，你总需要someone陪着你。
以前可以很真实，敢爱敢恨，现在不得不处处看别人的脸色，实在有够难看的

今天偶然和一位朋友谈起这些，也发现某些人还很真，还把你当朋友，我直言，现在的我可能不是真实的我，我在伪装，装的失败，还装得辛苦。

还好这世界还没有太坏，我还有他们，从不一样的地方，不一样的背景，我感谢他们。
还好我还有我在故乡交到的朋友，他们有如亲人般的无微不至，我感谢你们。
还好有还有我的梦想，爱慕虚荣，也狂妄自大的梦想，当我什么都没有的时候，可能是现在，我会拼了命，也要让他实现。

2nd post of the year.

It's February now. And I'm still in Miri. Not going anywhere for my further studies. Hmmm haven't.

Chinese New Year comes to the end now. Chap Goh Mei. Met up with my buddy(s) who are 'left in Miri'. Thanks to Grace who keep changing her plan, gamble, WII but finally we went to lim teh last night.

Going lim teh is just like hmmm a way to let us forget about gambling, wii whatsoever. Just sit down and have our cups of drinks. Talking about those memories, okay unforgettable yet beautiful memory. I always appreciate those friends, who you won't tell them I miss you or even not even text them to wish them happy CNY, not saying those secrets or inner thing to them, but yet, they are awesome. At least I feel comfortable with them. We dont need to think what should we talk about, using others gossips as our topic, insult others whatever. Discussing our future, thinking back those thing we did in school, jio-ing each other. Thats enough. Talking with them are like talking with part of your family. Haha okay maybe I just miss them too much?

Okay. Hope to hang out with you all. S2 gang, those who are left in Miri. :P

2011 :D

2011, 17-year-old, 5S2, secretariat and finance dept, duck kingdom, ham's gang.

Although i always claim that i have a good memory, all of a sudden i don't know what should i write now. 2011 isn't meaningless to me. it's the precious time that i think i had learnt lots of lessons, and shaped me to who i am now. :D let's start it :

From the beginning of the year, every single teacher reminds us that we will be sitting for spm very very soon. and fyi, i am not a hardworking student who read books day and night. my teachers are awesome, that they put a lot of effort to motivate us to do our best in every exam, and of course spm. thanks to cikgu azmira, pn bhal. miss hwong byien :D, mr anthony, cikgu nuraliza, pn hoon, mr yong and so on ...

okay. then, it's ch prefect camp

had fun here with lots of friends here.

i still remember that we got number one in kawad competition

leader : chong wen yen :D

next : chinese new year! :D

and hey! this is my gang of buddies! my dearest s2 gang, and so called duck kingdom,

ah lei, denis, jesshi, jie yi, jai, bao bei zi yu, sheryl jia chyi,

ohyeaa! someone is missing :O

chong li kim was waiting us at her place!

and the time back to the our school life.

i miss my table in 4, with jesshi jai and jia lei,

we always discuss about teachers' weird behavior in class,

and the best actress, jia chyi and i just cannot stop to 模仿 them in front of the whole class.

and hell, we got complained.

sorry teachers! but that was too funny! :P

and at the same, i was a prefect in school. my duty class 4S3 is awesome too! :D and i am hell sure they miss me a lot too. every morning, i go to 4s3 and wen yen's duty class is just beside me, so you can imagine that we do our duty for 10 mins only, but talk craps for hmmm, most of the time? hahaha! and i remember sonia will come to ask me : hey pys, 叫你班上的人到垃圾,很臭阿！and bytheway, sonia always join us to talk and forget we still a lot of duties to do.

and after that, we had tons of activites at school. sport days, mss miri, mss sarawak zzz wth, haha! we did slack, and worked hard under the hot sun. parkson is always the place we go to have our lunch, or slacking, goddamnit why there are no nice restaurant around?

and we got our school concert.

beloved mr yong :D

august/september 2011, we stepped down! nahh freedom! :D

opps and i have to say sorry to prefects 2011/2012,

sorry for bullying you all D: wo bu shi gu yi de.

oh hell, sometimes we just like to talk in the hall, we aren't that bad too right? :D

awesome people :D

after that we had our trials. hell torturing, but yet we conquer it :D

i used to do well in chinese, wen xue. boosted up maths and add maths during trials.

and heyyyy i do remember the one who sit beside me, mr ling, who always compete his sej mark with me. and i always lose. D: and when i get lower mark in moral than him, he will definitely laugh at me : 没有道德

and ladies and gentlemen, he is the 1st person who fall asleep during pn bhal's lesson!

i was always so baik hati to wake him up before he get caught! :D

...............................................................

it was SPM!

i will write about this at the day i got my result :D

seriously i think i can do better if i am given a second chance.

it is definitely not my best, :( but at least i tried.

.....................

31/12/2011

and here we go! :D

favourite photo of the year. anson, me, aaron, teck yew, koah kien, sonia, cindy, li kim, sheryl, wan ling, jin ming. wen yen. clare and soo ching! :D

for your information, they are the most awesome people in the world, oh yea there are ah then jia lei jeff erika and ester outside the camera too. had fun with them. and we made a wish that we hope we can still reunion with all of us in 2021? possible? :D

and at night, dinner with duck kingdom at al fresco. they are still the same, so funny, and yet so lovely. jia lei and jesshi love pool till they left us at secret recipe D: and thanks denis who chia jie yi and i raspberry cheesecake. sheryl likim jia chyi and zi yu are still same, talk, shout and laugh like everywhere is their home. :D cute people.

last but not least, all the best to ian, who currently in NS camp :( see you soon!

总在夜深人静时才有心情写些什么，都是多愁善感的错。

SPM结束也有一段日子的, 往者不可谏, 感觉不怎么好, 也不怎么坏, 希望幸运女神眷顾我, 考个不错的成绩吧! 大概全A+就好了 :D

12月12号1.00am, 先祝我的挚友刘宏益先生生日快乐, 年年有今日,岁岁有我们陪你过生日, 7年之内完成医学学位, 凯旋归来. 生日在假期的好处就是每个人都吃饱闲着可以帮你庆祝, 还可以在Boulevard想mission, 寻生日蛋糕之旅.

12月11日7-9pm在food and tea和他们狂欢的一整夜, 和他们在一起, 很舒服很自在, 整间餐厅都是我们的喧哗笑语, 惹得侍应生都在一旁偷笑.

有时写blog只想写一半,不想写到完, 还想保留些什么, 不想被别人完全看穿.

考华文前,把概述练得太好,现在都在概述, 下一篇应该友情篇与梦想篇, 拭目以待吧!